Oversoul: Warp of the Worlds
by Jade Amethyst
Summary: Spoilers for: Artemis Fowl, Twilight Saga, Hitchhiker's Guide, Neongenesis: Evangelion, and more. Refer to author "Stolas" for the concept of Oversoul.
1. Chapter 1

"A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance."

Anatole France

Artemis looked around. He could not recall how he happened upon this place. He had just been walking to the other room to ask Butler to fix him some Earl Grey, and now he was here. In a forest.

How odd.

"A bend in space, perhaps," he concluded. It would be just his luck. Or lack thereof. He glanced around curiously. It was also possible he had fallen asleep at the computer. It would not have been unlike him.

The trees were rather tall. Artemis could not conceive of why he would dream about trees or forests.

A woman walked out of the trees shade. Her walk was impatient, as if the pace did not suit her. She was exceedingly beautiful, Artemis noticed, and she was paler than he was. Quite the accomplishment.

"Can I help you?" she asked. A voice like bells. "Not the best place to be lost."

Artemis looked at her doubtfully. Possibly the bend in space brought him here, for he could not think of a reason for him to dream about this woman.

"I do not believe you can help me," Artemis told her.

"Uhm, ok," she said, looking at Artemis skeptically. Artemis smiled his vampire smile, having no idea the complete irony of the action.

"Have you seen anyone other than me?" the woman asked. "My family and I were . . . hiking . . . and became separated." She looked rather doubtful that Artemis had an answer to her question.

"I have seen no one else," Artemis told her truthfully. "I only just arrived myself." The idea of hiking was very unappealing to him and he hoped he would not have to. Butler had not been able so far to persuade Artemis to work on his physique and Artemis hoped to make that the case for as long as he could afford it.

Artemis did not know what to do now. An unusual thing for him.

"I must be off," the woman said, glancing very quickly at the sky and then walking back into the shadows. Artemis' eyes were stunned as the sun came out from behind the clouds. He too decided the trees would be better that the small clearing he stood in.

Once under the trees, Artemis found himself still unsure of how to proceed. He did not wish to calculate the odds of another space bend appearing in the same location.

Suddenly, Artemis' wrist communicator buzzed. Artemis' checked, only to see Foaly had contacted him.

"Artemis?" Foaly said, his face appearing in the window. He was so anxious that his foil hat was coming off and he didn't seem to notice or care.

"Yes, Foaly?" Artemis asked.

"No1 has warped space-time. I'm trying to piece everything back together to pinpoint your location, but my satellites are out. And my scanners. All of them. Where are you?"

"I can't be sure. Forested area. Any idea where Holly is and how you can contact me?"

"Nope. Everything's messed up. It's almost like someone's mind-wiped everyone. You're the first person to know anything is different."

Artemis sighed in frustration. Why must he always save the world from fairy mistakes and villains?

"Wait," Foaly said, tapping an out of site monitor. "I'm getting a small signal near you. That must be how we're talking right now. I'm seeing about five people other than you . . . that's odd, one's moving at incredible speed towards you . . ."

Then the communicator lost signal. Then Artemis found himself suddenly looking at the dirt more closely than he'd have liked. Great; his suit was sure to be grass stained.

There was a growling sound.

"Where are my family?" snarled the object pinning Artemis down.

"I assure you I'd be more help standing," Artemis grunted.

Before he knew it, he was standing. He brushed the dirt off of himself and glared at the grass stains he'd anticipated.

"Now, what did you want?" Artemis asked.

The beautiful woman stood there, stone still. She didn't seem to be breathing other than an uneven moving of her chest that Artemis though was merely a show of breathing.

"You were talking to someone with coordinates," she snarled.

Artemis sighed. The woman _could_ be of help, though. "I am Artemis Fowl II. You are?"

"Bella Cullen," she hissed, seeming to relax slightly. She turned her head oddly to the side and seemed to take a breath.

"I can't get your coordinates unless I can get my communication back."

"What do you need?"

"Have you seen any electronics around here capable of sending messages?"

"There was a satellite crashed near here. I don't know if it still works or not, though. It looks pretty mangled, though the fact it didn't disintegrate in the atmosphere is strange."

"That would be good," Artemis agreed.

She angled her head again to take a breath. Then said, "This way."

She lead him in a direction he would have considered north if he didn't know all of space and time had been warped in a possibly irreversible manner. Artemis mulled over the improbability that No1 had warped _all_ of time-space. He was powerful, but was he _that_ powerful? No, Artemis did not believe so. There had to be another factor. Not to mention, _what would N__o__1 have been doing to cause such a thing?_

Artemis sighed.

Then tripped. As he got up, Bella stared at him. He looked at his scraped palms in frustration and then turned to see what he had tripped over. He was normally more observant than that.

Lying on the ground was a very fictional-looking, half-sheathed, short-sword. Artemis picked it up carefully and looked it over.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"Sting," Artemis said carefully, unsure of his own assumption. But he had the Lord of the Rings books all memorized; there was no doubt about it.

"What is going on?" he wondered allowed.

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked. "That things been lying there forever. Doesn't look special to me."

Artemis suddenly realized what Foaly had meant about everyone seeming mind-wiped.


	2. Chapter 2

"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain."

Pliny the Elder (23 AD - 79 AD)

House limped toward the satellite.

What was the world coming to? Edward could not decide what any of this meant, nor could he convince himself that his missing wife and daughter were safe. And where was Jacob, anyway? He could hear the thoughts of neither the giant werewolf nor Renesme.

The person whose thoughts Edward _could_ hear was going to drive him mad if he could find no better company. He reached across the miles her could and hit another strange mind, a human. And a picture of Bella in his mind.

_. . . if this woman does not recognize the changes, will anyone else? Foaly may be my only hope at this point. _

Edward frowned. Bella was coming this way. But their daughter was not with her and going to her would be risky at the least with a human following her. Or the human before him witnessing his departure.

House was contemplating the possibility that he was hallucinating. Edward was unsure of how he had come to this conclusion. Though Edward had no memories of coming to be here, he still could not find it in himself to worry about that. The normality of the oddness was what worried him most (next to Bella and Renesme's absence).

House leaned idly on the satellite and stared at Edward cat as if he wasn't really seeing anything. Edward frowned as the man made observations. Edward shifted his weight and uncrosses and recrossed his arms. House noticed how stiff the movements were. And that Edward wasn't breathing.

"Why are you anxious?" House asked, almost mockingly.

"My family has wondered off," Edward grunted in response.

"And you are not looking for them." House was pleased with himself for this observation.

"They will find me if I stay in one place," Edward lied through his teeth. Almost literally. House saw the lie. Probably because he believed that everyone lied. All of the time. He was right where the Cullen's were concerned.

"And if they have the same idea?"

"They won't."

"But if they don't?" Edward was too certain for House to doubt his honesty, but where was the fun in giving in?

Then was the approach of Artemis and Bella. It took everything Edward had to go to her at a human pace.

"Edward," she said in relief, throwing her arms around him.

"As I said," Edward said almost to himself.

"Out of the way!" Artemis exclaimed; he had no time for the woman's family or the cane bearing man with the universe possibly at stake. House looked at Artemis skeptically but didn't have time to say anything before Artemis had pulled open a hatch and started working on the insides of the satellite. If there was something Artemis knew (and, honestly, what did Artemis not know?), it was how to find fairy tech inside of human tech. He had found Foaly's transmitter, tiny thing that it was, in a manner of minutes, hidden under a busted monitor screen on the main panel. He removed it carefully and got out into the open.

"Artemis?" came Foaly voice from his wrist. Artemis wondered how human technology could possibly jam fairy connection but he did not consider it a priority question.

"Is secrecy an issue now?" he asked.

"I wouldn't suppose," Foaly laughed humorlessly. I'm the only one left _here_! And beside that, once this is fixed, it's possible no one would remember. If this gets fixed. So we're probably already out anyhow. I might be close to finding Holly, though."

"Good," Artemis said. He placed the fairy transmitter into his inside blazer pocket.

"Where's the rest of my family?" Bella asked, at Artemis' side too fast. House and Artemis both noticed and Edward did not like it.

"Artemis?" Foaly said. Artemis looked back to his communicator, eyebrows raised. "It looks like that satellite had been changed into lead at some point. It would some strange anomaly to do that. I'd recommend getting out of there in case of danger."

"I'll work on it then," Artemis agreed. "After I make sure there's nothing more to save from it."

"What would you need saved?" Edward asked for good measure. He already had an idea what things Artemis would need, but need to make sure.

"Any wiring that looks stable," Artemis said, unsure of whether this man would know anything about electronics. Or why he would be helping as if he already knew that Artemis was his best chance to find his family. "Any tools. As much as can be carried. I'll look through anything you find to sort it's worth."

Bella and Edward both smirked. As much as could be carried. Really. He didn't know what he was saying.

_More important things, though,_ Bella thought with a sigh. Renesme. Nothing was more important than Edward and Renesme. Nothing.

"Bella?" Artemis said.

"Yes?" She looked at him expectantly.

"Do you know the area?"

Bella nodded. Artemis wondered if this came with the odd sort of brainwashing.

"So," House said. "This is interesting and all, but what would we be talking about?"

"Why, that's need to know, of course," Artemis told him. Queue vampire smile.

"Of course. But maybe I need to know?" House suggested.

Artemis glanced at Edward, who was laying some items on the ground. Bella was helping him.

"You don't," Artemis assured House.

"I've got a lock on Holly," buzzed Foaly before House could speak. "She's in what used to be the Artic."

"Used to be?" Artemis asked.

"It appears to be a desert now. She's not moving, but she got a hold another satellite device. She could be in grave danger."

Artemis sighed. "Where am _I_ Foaly?"

"South-Eastern Canada. Or what used to be. The landmarks seem almost barren forest where a city used to be. You're even short on animals."

At least it wasn't too far away. Farther than Artemis wanted to walk though. And who knew where the oceans had been dropped?

"What's this all about?" Edward asked. Artemis looked up to see the statuesque man before him. Breathing, unlike his wife.

Edward heard all he needed to know in Artemis' head, but could not risk letting Artemis find out he could hear thoughts.

"I need to get to the desert, up north," Artemis told him.

Edward reviewed a map in his mind of "the desert, up north". There was nothing there but sand surrounded by ocean, connected to land by bridges. How this Holly would be there, could not recon.

"Why?" Bella and House asked at once, tones almost complimentary in their differences. Bella was curious. Gregory House was patronizing. What else was new?

"To find a friend," Artemis replied, weary. He did not have time to explain the delicate balance of the space-time relation and the magical way it had been trans-mutated by a demon warlock in training to these ignorant fools. At least, that was the theory. But nothing was concrete or certain about this theory to Artemis. "Our lives may depend on it, but I will not bore you with the details."

"Bella," Edward said carefully. "I think we should help him."

"But Renes—"

"Renesme is in danger like the rest of us," Edward interrupted. "Finding her won't save her."

Bella and Edward looked each in the eyes. Almost a private, wordless conversation.

"So, Dr. House," Artemis said. "My friend may need medical attention and I guarantee you've never seen a patient like this."

House frowned. How could the boy know who he was? Or that a puzzle would guarantee his help?

Artemis smiled again. It seemed his knowledge of the world as it was would be helpful after all.

"You're manipulating me," House speculated.

"But you'll help," Artemis said. Not asked.

House nodded once. He needed to find out how this boy knew such things as his identity, if nothing else. And a new type of patient; he wondered what kind it would be. House grinned glumly and threw some Vicodin in his mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

I apologize for the delay. :)

--------------------

" 'Tell me one last thing,' said Harry. 'Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?'

Dumbledore beamed at him and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.

'Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?' "

_Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_, J. K. Rowling

Edward had a car.

How very Edward of him.

At least, that's what Bella thought, being the only person in the car that actually knew him. She was not thrilled about sitting in the back seat with Dr. House, who did not seem like her father-in-law—the good doctor—in the least.

On the other hand, she understood the importance of Artemis sitting up front; he was the one that could talk to the person with directions (not that she wasn't confident Edward knew where they were going). He was a very hairy man with a voice that made her think about horses. Very strange of him. Not to mention his name. Foaly: also very horse-like. He was an arrogant fool, but a smart arrogant fool.

"No cars get across the bridge," Edward stated when they approached the sign indicating a bridge. He slowed down and pulled off of the . . . road. If Artemis could rightfully call it a road. It was made of a strange glossy material that looked like green jell-o, but it was hard as diamond.

Artemis glanced at the crooked . . . road sign. He was very vaguely reminded of Picasso and Salvador Dali's clocks being mixed together with the modern world. The result was rather strange looking.

House rubbed his leg.

Bella very deliberately shifted her weight.

Edward turned the red Porsche off in a very stiff movement.

Artemis wondered who the Cullen's were. Or what they were. They were very obviously not of the People, nor were they human. Artemis had decided he was dreaming; his mind was presenting him with a much-needed challenge after a dry spell. What else could explain fictional characters patronizing?

House had decided a similar scenario: he was hallucinating. He had only pondered it earlier, but now it seemed the only explanation. He might as well enjoy the joke. Then spite whoever had drugged him later— it most certainly wasn't himself this time.

Meanwhile, Edward was wondering why the two humans seemed so set in their decisions that none of this was real. The last thing he remembered doing before Renesme, Bella, and Jacob had disappeared was hunting. They hadn't really gotten very much done. And then his family was missing. Bella seemed to have the same memories as him, but House and Fowl had different scenarios. Different versions of reality they remembered. And the facts matched in each mind, despite Artemis' belief in "The People" and House's strange belief system . . . or lack thereof.

"We'll have to walk from here," Edward said slowly. He couldn't bring himself to sound human at all when the real humans were very set against seeing him as normal anyhow.

House's mind became riddled with irritation and he shoved another pill into his mouth. Artemis also seemed to be displeased with this conclusion. Edward, Bella, And Artemis quickly exited the car, followed slowly by the doctor. As they approached the bridge, something became clear to Artemis: something large and round and white was sitting in the way of the bridge (which was oddly made of what looked like gingerbread).

"Hello?" called Artemis, realizing the figure was a robot.

"What do you want?" asked the large round mass of robotic material. The tone with which he spoke was monotone.

"To cross the bridge," House cut in. "Why else would we be hear, leaving rather nice temperatures and toward the bridge crossing into barren desert? Not quite sure myself what we're doing, actually."

"You don't have to take it out on me," the robot said. "Not that it matters. Everyone does. Everyone picks on poor Marvin. Just because he depressed." And then he sighed a large sigh.

Artemis stared at the robot, fascinated that his mind would pull such random characters out of nowhere. _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_. The robot rather resembled the movie rendition in near perfect detail. Artemis preferred the book, due to the fact he had no time to waste on trivial things like books anymore, nonetheless movies.

Edward frowned, looking at the sky. He had not yet decided how to deal with the sun, though the desert often was covered with clouds. It was the amplified UV rays that made it so hot and the water that for some reason decided not to fall from the sky. Edward frowned deeper; it seemed to him that there ought to be sun in a desert—though her could think of no desert that had sun—and that deserts ought not be on the pole—which was ridiculous seeing as the poles were both deserts.

Edward looked at Artemis and asked about the poles. Artemis looked at the vampire and wondered why Edward would ask such a question. All of the information he knew about the Arctic Circle and Atlantic Circle flashed through his mind quickly before he organized his thoughts.

"What do you need to know?" Artemis asked carefully.

"What are they supposed to be like?" Edward asked carefully, surveying House's thoughts as well.

The information matched up. Edward felt that something was wrong, finally understanding what was the trouble for the two human that caused them to think this couldn't be real.

"Cold," Artemis said, his voice cold as well. "The poles should be very cold."

There was an irony in his voice Edward had to time to think about as his own thoughts raced to grasp what he had learned.

"Do you want by or not?" Marvin asked. "Not that it matters. You'll get stopped in the middle and at the end anyway."

"By whom?" Artemis asked.

"I don't know. I don't know anything you would need to know, just everything else. Isn't that to be expected?"


	4. Chapter 4

_"Don't cross the bridge till you come to it."_

_- Proverb _

Artemis cringed at yet another pop culture reference. For a dream, it was littered with media he didn't indulge in. The man in question grinned almost wide enough to insult the artist that painted the smile onto his face. The joker stood there, a perfect image of an old tv show. The colored man somehow made sense even though he resembled the cartoon he was.

Bella frowned, unsure about the displeasure coming from all of her companions, Edward particularily.

"What do we have here?" the Joker said, somehow tauntingly.

"A doctor," House said. "Which you clearly need. Unfortunately, I am the wrong kind."

The Joker smiled. "So we have a funny man! How wonderful? How funny would it be if I sliced your face of?"

"That won't be necessary," Artemis cut in. "We are fine. But that robot back there is quite unhappy."

"Yes, yes, I shall have to remedy that," he said thoughtfully. "But first, there is the matter of you?"

Artemis produced several hundred dollars, and the Joker let them pass with a warning to not come back unless they wanted to die smiling. Edward and Bella seemed particuarily amused by this concept. Artemis added this to his observations of his company. Amused by death.

At the end of the bridge was yet another pop reference. Artemis felt he was going mad. This time it was a children's cartoon chacter that he did not reconize. Artemis was also unsure of which gender the character portrayed. He faded into mist and laughed. None of the party thought that they were through with this one.

(More later. I just got back my Internet access.)


	5. Chapter 5

_"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." _

_- Clark, Frank A. _

Green jello-looking moutains loomed in the background and heavy clouds hung over, angry looking as though they were withholding their water on purpose. Bella told herself she was being melodramic, though, and kept walking with her group. The clouds weren't effecting _her_ any; if anything they were pleasently warming. Artemis and House were already dripping without sweat and House had gotten progressively slower. Every now and again, he would stop to rub his thigh and kept moving.

Artemis was getting very, very irritable. He wasn't used to work, sweat, hunger, thirst, or not having clear sight of what he was doing. He didn't like these things when he experienced them either. He knew that he had to find Holly, but _then what_? And they didn't seem to be getting any closer. He glanced at his wrist and the comunicator becon hadn't moved much. Either they weren't getting anywhere or it was not working again. Artemis thought both were likely.

"Foaly?" Artemis said.

No reply. That supported the theory that the hardware was malfunctioning, but they had been walking for a long time.

"We aren't getting anywhere," Artemis said dryly.

Edward skimmed the area. "Probably not."

Bella sighed without cause. Human habits never went away, did they?

"What was your first clue?" House said sarcastically.

"You had no idea," Edward said bitterly. He didn't want to arouse too much suspicion but House's thoughts were very irritating. He was having trouble foucssing with the foulness of them permiating his head.

Bella perked up as a breeze ran through the area.

"Renesme," Edward and hger said at once. Artemis was, for once, mistified.

A howl echoed through the air and Artemis could have sworn that Bella and Edward literally vanished into thin air.

"Well," Artemis said. He wondered if the pair had magic and were sheilding themselves. He didn't not have any of his fairy tech and could not take a look and this frustrated them.

"I must be sick with drugs!" House said, laughing cynically. "I like it. I must ask Wilson what he spiked me with!"

_There is no time for this,_ Artemis thought. _Holly is somewhere in this mess, _baking alive_, and I don't know how to find her!_

"Artemis, you are my only hope," echoed from the wrist-com.

"This is no time for you to make _Star Wars references_!" Artemis said. "Give me something to work with, Foaly!"

"Well, now that I have your attention, I would like to inform you that You should be standing on top of Holly."

Artemis stared at his watch for a moment. Then he said, "Do you mean figuratively or literally, or are you going insane?"

"All of the above, probably. I do feel a little woozy."

Artemis sign and pinched the bridge of his nose. The heat was really getting to his head.

"Wait," Artemis said. "That's it." He knelt down to the ground and started digging. House stared at him, honestly unable to reconsile this action to himself. After a moment, he assured himself that he was hallucinating about people going insane. That was of course the most logical thing- he loved to watch crazy people. What better thing for him to hallucinate about?

"Give me your cane," Artemis demanded.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because the person we are looking for in burried in the sand here."

"How are they breathing?"

"It doesn't matter. Give me the cane. I need something to help me dig."

House knelt down and handed over the cane. He'd almost forgotten the patient, the one that was like none he'd ever seen.

Artemis finally felt the sand all collapse under him. He'd gotten too close to a cavity of some kind and it had not been strong enough to hold him. A little more digging unearthed Holly.

"We found her," Artemis said.

"Is she okay?" Foaly asked.


End file.
